Intentionality and the Icky Factor
A practical guide to intentionality and the icky factor and why it matters for relationship-driven professionals.
The difference between a contact and a connection is not semantic. It is the difference between a name in your phone and a person who thinks of you when an opportunity crosses their desk.
Intentionality And The Icky Factor
What separates professionals who get consistent referrals from those who do not is rarely talent or charisma. It is follow-through. The willingness to maintain a relationship even when there is no immediate payoff. The discipline to check in with someone when you do not need anything from them.
This sounds simple because it is. But simple does not mean easy. Without a system to prompt these interactions, the urgent always displaces the important. You respond to the client emailing you today instead of reaching out to the connection from last month whose value has not materialized yet.
Making It Work
Here is a simple framework you can implement this week.
First, list twenty people who matter to your professional success. Not the biggest names — the most genuine connections. The ones where the relationship feels mutual.
Second, for each person, write down one thing you know about their current situation. If you cannot, that is your signal to reach out.
Third, schedule fifteen minutes every Friday to send three messages. Not pitches. Not asks. Just genuine check-ins. "Saw this article and thought of you." "How did that project turn out?" "Hope the move went smoothly."
Three messages a week is 150 touchpoints a year. That is enough to maintain a strong network of fifty people with room to spare. The math works. The hard part is showing up consistently.
The professionals who build the deepest networks do not work harder at networking. They work more intentionally. They treat relationships as something worth organizing, tracking, and nurturing — not just something that happens to them.
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A relationship CRM like Relatable can help by organizing your contacts into priority tiers with engagement cadences, so the important relationships never slip through the cracks. But the tool is secondary to the mindset. Start paying attention to the relationships that matter. The rest follows.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I network as an introvert?
Introversion is not a networking disadvantage — it is a different approach. Introverts often excel at one-on-one conversations and deep listening, which are the foundation of strong relationships. Focus on smaller gatherings, follow up after events when you have energy, and lean into written communication when that feels more comfortable.
What is the difference between networking and relationship building?
Networking is collecting contacts. Relationship building is maintaining and deepening them over time. Most professionals over-invest in networking events and under-invest in the follow-through that turns a new contact into a lasting connection. The value is not in meeting people — it is in staying connected to them.
What is the best way to stay in touch without being annoying?
Lead with value, not asks. Share an article relevant to their interests. Congratulate them on a milestone. Ask a genuine question about something they mentioned last time you spoke. If every interaction is about what you need, people will stop responding. If every interaction shows you are paying attention to their world, they will look forward to hearing from you.
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